please submit again

A comfort zone; particularly for people like me, serves as a no-risk, no-failure, no-rejection zone reflecting that I am not willing to extend myself or jeopardise my reputation or risk potential embarrassment in front of anyone.

Yet, sometimes, people forget. I am jobless. I am young. I am entitled to be idealistic. Yes, it is my right.

***
On a different note, I got another rejection e-mail today. I put it in the folder I have created on Hotmail; a folder where I have put all of the other "We are proud of your devotion and noble act, but as a corporate body, regrettably, we have come to an agreement that we are not in the suitable time to sponsor you in the mentioned event as it does not link to our national initiatives and focus areas. Nevertheless, we wish you all the best in your future endeavours."

I have also received more than five rejection letters and slipped them right between the thin manilla folders of certificates, awards, prizes, acceptance letters. Maybe they will hide the bulging stomach of rejection slips, or make me feel better about myself. I try very hard to make them look greater than they are, the awards, that is. I try to think I have won; or that I will win; or that the corporations are wrong. Credit crunch - my sole comforting reason.

I probably shouldn't save those slips and e-mails. I have thought of burning them, throwing them out of the window, one by one into the wind, shooting them with a paintball gun, or deleting them altogether. I have not. I watch them; waiting for the day those corporations will beg forgiveness. I wait for the day I can conquer my little slips of paper and that I can laugh in their face and say, "Hah! I told you, the Cambodian community was worth something."

That day is coming soon. I know. I believe so.